Napalm Riot

I am a gamer.

This is needless to say, since this is posted on a gaming site, where people who play video games usually congregate. Stay with me here.

Being what I am, and playing as many games as I have, I know what people say when they explain the premises of games by saying things like, "oh yeah man, it's like a room escape, but with more Myst and Phoenix Wright" or "like Resident Evil 4 and Bioshock had a baby in space." See, these make sense to me and most other people as well. There is however, one thing I don't get...

WHY IS EVERYONE COMPARING EVERYTHING TO HALO.
Seriously, this shit has been happening ever since the second damn game came out, and it's only gotten worse since the "end" of the series. Any damn game with a gun is being compared to it, and I'll give you a few examples, most of them culled through my annoying habit of looking at youtube comments.


Fallout 3:

Hey readers, can you tell me the similarities between this game and Halo 3? Okay, so it's a first person shooter and after a big war. Ok, anything else? No? WELL GOOD BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T.These two games have barely anything in common. Fallout 3 is an Action RPG/First Person Shooter/Third
Person Shooter with an open world play theme like Oblivion, which was made by the same group. You can solve problems through diplomacy, gain stats and perks, collect a myriad of weapons and other items, it has a nonlinear story, it's set on Earth, it focuses on the narrative, the ambiance, and the single player, and it involves no aliens at all.

It has also been heralded by a bunch of retards as either "not as good" as Halo, "the next" Halo, or "I won't play it, because I couldn't possibly play anything besides" Halo. The problem is that you can't really compare
them because they are nothing alike. But hey, we can try right!

The Halo series is set in space, is an action First Person Shooter, has vehicles, has a bunch of aliens and sassy guys, is extremely structured, contains zero item handling, is more about how many dudes you can
shoot and explosions then anything, and isn't even focused on single player since it diverted all of its time to letting preteens yell curse words over the internet.

Awesome, twins at birth.

Dead Space:

So, I was watching some videos of this game on that Tube place and going, "oh man, this looks really great. Exciting, ambient, tense, and focusing on story!" So I get excited about it, and then I make my mistake and look down at the comments to see what everyone else thinks. THE FIRST FIVE COMMENTS ARE THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE, DOWN WITHIN AN HOUR OF EACH OTHER, BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

Dicksucker97:

oh lol, is this going to be the next halo, is it going to be series


Fuck you, Dicksucker97, you're the type of guy who is giving the previous 96 dicksuckers a bad name. No, it's not going to be the next Halo because the Halo series is continuing,. Yeah, if you haven't heard before now, it's continuing. I was going to commend it for not being like most other series by pulling a Square Enix and making forty spin offs a year and releasing one game in the main series every decade, but this turns out to be false. They're working on THREE Halo games right now. One of them is a real time strategy game, which will probably end up cornering the market over in the States if it's anywhere near decent, even if Starcraft 2 comes out and is the most perfect game ever. They are also making Halo: Chronicles, which is an episodic series, and
completely original.
Last but not least, a squad based game, just like Ghost Recon, Rainbow Six, and SOCOM. Not to mention eight hundred thousand tie in novels.

So yeah, it's not ending, and even if it did, they are still nothing alike.

In "Dead Space", you play as an engineer who is sent to a mining ship, where he battles alien zombies that are some of the most grotesque things I have ever seen. Again, this game is a Third Person Survival Horror
game, that has no multiplayer, and focuses on the story, combat, and whole feel of the game. It's more akin to Resident Evil 4, Bioshock, and Silent Hill and being sent to space, then it is of Halo. I mean, the only things that make it anything near Halo are that it's set in space and there are alien zombies. Building on that though, the Necromorphs look way scarier then the Flood ever did.

So guys, stop arbitrarily comparing your favorite series to things that are only vaguely similar, because you end up looking like an ass, and I end up looking like an ass for pointing out that you look like an ass.

Rant over, everyone can go home now. Damn, I feel better!